SRF Audio
We went for a walk, we drank a lot of coffee.
We often met at home and had sex there.
It was a cool time and it was nice to get to know her.
We saw each other a lot, we met a lot.
He seemed very interested.
He even wanted to introduce me to his sister.
It sounds like two romantic love stories, doesn't it?
It just wasn't enough to start a relationship with her.
This is called a situation ship.
An emotional leasing model for love.
All the advantages of a relationship.
Closeness, feeling, security.
But without guarantee, responsibility or rules.
I've also met someone else before.
Because you're not in a relationship.
It's more of a warmth.
I know it too.
In the beginning, everything was clear.
Nothing serious, no relationship, no obligations.
And then we saw each other three times a week.
I made him my special salmon-spinach pasta.
He always accompanied me to the train station.
Gave me a kiss on the forehead.
He held my hand in public.
Took selfies with me.
But he always said,
we said we didn't want anything serious.
Guess if there was a happy ending.
My name is Elma Softitsch.
Nice to have you with us.
SRF Input.
You're the first man in the podcast, right?
Yes.
We heard about Giuseppe in the intro.
I'm Giuseppe, I'm 28.
I live in Zurich.
And I've had a few situations.
My last situation was six months ago.
How did it end?
With a heartbreak.
Before we get to the heartbreak,
first from the beginning.
Giuseppe met Alex on a dating platform.
He tried really hard.
We saw each other a lot.
We met a lot.
I work in shifts.
Sometimes on weekends.
Or late shifts.
He really got me out of work at the beginning.
He seemed very interested.
He even wanted to introduce me to his sister.
He asked me to have lunch with his mother.
At this point, you're probably thinking,
okay, that's dating.
What's the difference between a situation and dating?
Because I first introduce someone to my mother
when I'm sure it's going to be a long-term dating.
Or maybe even when we're together.
To answer these questions,
I called therapist, psychiatrist and book author Miriam Tanner.
Among other things, she deals with bonding style
and dealing with connectivity.
We always hear her in this input.
It's definitely a relationship.
When two people play a role and
rely on some form of a relationship
where there's room for romantic feelings,
where there's room for sexuality,
but no room for a commitment.
Or for an explanation of what this relationship is.
A situation ship is a relationship with a lot of openness.
Which, for example, monogamous dating doesn't have.
It's clear that both are looking for a strong love relationship.
And the intentions at Freundschaft Plus
are much clearer than at Situation Ships.
At Freundschaft Plus,
the romantic side stays out.
You know each other,
you're friends and still have sex.
But at Situation Ships, there's clarity.
There won't be more.
In a Situation Ship, this is open and unclear.
It was especially unclear at the beginning
for Giuseppe and Alex,
what intentions they had.
Giuseppe assumed
that Alex and he were dating.
Of course, they met on a dating platform.
And why would he be so tired
if it wasn't dating?
This is not atypical for a Situation Ship.
At the beginning, everything was great.
It started like that for me too.
At first, we made up.