1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,000 SRF Audio 2 00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:10,000 We went for a walk, we drank a lot of coffee. 3 00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:15,000 We often met at home and had sex there. 4 00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:19,000 It was a cool time and it was nice to get to know her. 5 00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:23,000 We saw each other a lot, we met a lot. 6 00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:25,000 He seemed very interested. 7 00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:28,000 He even wanted to introduce me to his sister. 8 00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:34,000 It sounds like two romantic love stories, doesn't it? 9 00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:39,000 It just wasn't enough to start a relationship with her. 10 00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:46,000 This is called a situation ship. 11 00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:49,000 An emotional leasing model for love. 12 00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:51,000 All the advantages of a relationship. 13 00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:53,000 Closeness, feeling, security. 14 00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:57,000 But without guarantee, responsibility or rules. 15 00:00:57,000 --> 00:01:00,000 I've also met someone else before. 16 00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:02,000 Because you're not in a relationship. 17 00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:04,000 It's more of a warmth. 18 00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:06,000 I know it too. 19 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:08,000 In the beginning, everything was clear. 20 00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:11,000 Nothing serious, no relationship, no obligations. 21 00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:15,000 And then we saw each other three times a week. 22 00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:19,000 I made him my special salmon-spinach pasta. 23 00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:22,000 He always accompanied me to the train station. 24 00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:24,000 Gave me a kiss on the forehead. 25 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:26,000 He held my hand in public. 26 00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:28,000 Took selfies with me. 27 00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:30,000 But he always said, 28 00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:33,000 we said we didn't want anything serious. 29 00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:36,000 Guess if there was a happy ending. 30 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:38,000 My name is Elma Softitsch. 31 00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:40,000 Nice to have you with us. 32 00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:42,000 SRF Input. 33 00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:48,000 You're the first man in the podcast, right? 34 00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:50,000 Yes. 35 00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:53,000 We heard about Giuseppe in the intro. 36 00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:55,000 I'm Giuseppe, I'm 28. 37 00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:57,000 I live in Zurich. 38 00:01:57,000 --> 00:02:01,000 And I've had a few situations. 39 00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:06,000 My last situation was six months ago. 40 00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:08,000 How did it end? 41 00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:11,000 With a heartbreak. 42 00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:17,000 Before we get to the heartbreak, 43 00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:19,000 first from the beginning. 44 00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:24,000 Giuseppe met Alex on a dating platform. 45 00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:28,000 He tried really hard. 46 00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:30,000 We saw each other a lot. 47 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:32,000 We met a lot. 48 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:34,000 I work in shifts. 49 00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:36,000 Sometimes on weekends. 50 00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:38,000 Or late shifts. 51 00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:41,000 He really got me out of work at the beginning. 52 00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:43,000 He seemed very interested. 53 00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:46,000 He even wanted to introduce me to his sister. 54 00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:49,000 He asked me to have lunch with his mother. 55 00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:54,000 At this point, you're probably thinking, 56 00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:56,000 okay, that's dating. 57 00:02:56,000 --> 00:03:00,000 What's the difference between a situation and dating? 58 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:07,000 Because I first introduce someone to my mother 59 00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:10,000 when I'm sure it's going to be a long-term dating. 60 00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:14,000 Or maybe even when we're together. 61 00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:19,000 To answer these questions, 62 00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:23,000 I called therapist, psychiatrist and book author Miriam Tanner. 63 00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:26,000 Among other things, she deals with bonding style 64 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:28,000 and dealing with connectivity. 65 00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:30,000 We always hear her in this input. 66 00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:34,000 It's definitely a relationship. 67 00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:36,000 When two people play a role and 68 00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:39,000 rely on some form of a relationship 69 00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:42,000 where there's room for romantic feelings, 70 00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:45,000 where there's room for sexuality, 71 00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:48,000 but no room for a commitment. 72 00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:53,000 Or for an explanation of what this relationship is. 73 00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:58,000 A situation ship is a relationship with a lot of openness. 74 00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:02,000 Which, for example, monogamous dating doesn't have. 75 00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:05,000 It's clear that both are looking for a strong love relationship. 76 00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:07,000 And the intentions at Freundschaft Plus 77 00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:10,000 are much clearer than at Situation Ships. 78 00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:13,000 At Freundschaft Plus, 79 00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:16,000 the romantic side stays out. 80 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:19,000 You know each other, 81 00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:22,000 you're friends and still have sex. 82 00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:25,000 But at Situation Ships, there's clarity. 83 00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:27,000 There won't be more. 84 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:31,000 In a Situation Ship, this is open and unclear. 85 00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:34,000 It was especially unclear at the beginning 86 00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:36,000 for Giuseppe and Alex, 87 00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:38,000 what intentions they had. 88 00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:40,000 Giuseppe assumed 89 00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:42,000 that Alex and he were dating. 90 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:46,000 Of course, they met on a dating platform. 91 00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:49,000 And why would he be so tired 92 00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:51,000 if it wasn't dating? 93 00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:55,000 This is not atypical for a Situation Ship. 94 00:04:55,000 --> 00:04:57,000 At the beginning, everything was great. 95 00:04:57,000 --> 00:04:59,000 It started like that for me too. 96 00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:01,000 At first, we made up.